Kwot of the Kwak to the Krak #7 : the chase

"i will not run nor will i hide..i am here.."

-nur-

Al-Fatihah buat arwah tok wan chik..

Jam hampir 4petang..tiba-tiba hp berbunyi..no ofis yang tak save tapi macam bleh agak dari sapa..dengar suara yg terlalu familiar..

"Hello, syitah! syitah!"

"Ha...yaa..ya..."

"syitah..syitah..!" sangkanya aku tidak dengar..

"yaa..haha..awat k.bby?"

aku terasa lucu pulak asyik ulang2 panggil namaku..

tapi tiba-tiba terdengar esakan dalam corong sebelah sana..

"pasaipa ni??" aku mula gelisah..

"syitah, tok km baru meninggal..bleh tak syitah mai amek km?"..

aku tanpa pikir panjang.."hah? yaka?? ok2..satgi km sampai.."

aku yang tak semena-mena, terus pucat lesi..terus seram sejuk satu badan..terasa menggigil..blank sekejap..

bukan apa, sebab aku tau mcm mana sayangnya dan rapat dia dengan tok..dan aku tau dia perlukan aku masa nie...

terus aku pack2 barang..aku jumpa dengan kawan2 kerja..bahagi tugas aku..nasib baik mereka memahami..jumpa isteri bos..bagitau yg tok sedara aku meninggal..aku harus pergi..isteri bos yang baik ati pun capai tangan aku dan ucap takziah..katanya dia pergi ke tempat yg lebih baik..kalau sakit, akhirnya penderitaan dia telah berakhir..aku terasa berat sangat mata masa tu...tak tahu keadaan situasi sebenar tapi aku tau tok sakit sbelum ni..apa keadaan sekarang tak pasti..terasa nak menitik air mata..menggigil tangan aku..aku dapat rasa kepanasan tangan dia..betapa sejuknya tangan aku masa tu..terus aku capai beg tangan dan jumpa bos untuk maklumkan berita aku..dia benarkan..

aku terus menjemput k.bby dari tempat kerja..dari jauh aku dapat lihat mukanya merah kerana menahan tangis..

masuk dalam kereta, dia pandang aku..aku dapat rasakan dia ingin lepaskan perasaan..aku genggam tangan dia..dan terhamburlah esakan yang tak terbendung..aku pun tak sanggup melihat..sama-sama bergenang air mata..10minit dalam tangisan yang bernada sepi........

panggilan dan sms di hp berbunyi..masing-masing sedang cuba menghubungi sanak saudara yg jauh.. tiba-tiba teringat yang paling jauh...boy..dh banyak kali cuba dapatkan dia, tapi gagal..semua sedia maklum bahawa mesti susah nak panggil dia..dia yg jauh di negara orang, dalam perantauan..hanya nasib dapat menghubungi dia..aku hanya minta sekurang-kurangnya sms dia..kalau dia terima, dia boleh cuba berdoa dari sana..mungkin dia akan terkejut dan sedih sebab tak dapat pulang, tapi sekurang-kurangnya dia boleh berdoa dari sana..daripada dia tidak tahu apa-apa sehingga dia pulang, mungkin ketika itu dia akan lebih kecewa dan sedih..

setibanya kami di rumah tok..sekujur tubuh berlitup menyambut kami..terasa sebak melihat tubuh itu..kami melangkah dengan sayu..menyambut tangan yang dihulur menyambut kedatangan kami..hanya ada beberapa orang saja.. menunjukkan arwah baru saja pergi..k.long, mama, caca, mami, dan 2-3 jiran tetangga ada bersama.. aku tak berani mendekati arwah lagi..sementalahan tidak mahu mengganggu saudara mara yang sedang berkabung di situ..aku duduk di sebelah k.long sambil berdoa dalam hati..sedekahkan al-fatihah dan bertanyakan khabar arwah yang baru pergi..alhamdulillah, pemergiannya dipermudahkan Allah..dalam keadaan sihat, sedang beristirehat bersama anak cucu menonton tv..tiba-tiba saja terdiam dan pergi dalam pangkuan anaknya, mami..tiada tanda mahu pergi..tapi panggilan telefon tengah hari kepada caca mengatakan dia bermimpi kawan baiknya sedang panggil dia..memberi tanda dia sudah tidak lama..tambah pula mama yang tiba-tiba tergerak hati mahu membaca yassin selepas subuh pagi tadi untuk bonda tercinta agar disembuhkan sakitnya yang lama ditanggungnya..ajal maut, Allah Subhanahu wata'ala yang lebih mengetahui..petang itu, Allah hilangkan sakitnya dengan menjemputnya kembali ke sisi Illahi...innalillahi wa innailaihirajiun..

azan asar berkumandang..kelihatan mama bergegas untuk solat asar..aku tahu, dia sedang menyimpan sedihnya..dan ingin mengadu kepada Yang Esa..aku perhatikan tingkahnya..lincah seperti biasa..di ruang solat..kelihatan dia bersolat..dan sesudahnya berdoa..aku dapat lihat dari jauh kelibatnya seperti sedang menangis..terkejut dengan pemergian bondanya..dia bangun untuk teruskan solat sunat..aku kagum..kemudian dia kembali bersama tetamu..lincah seperti biasa..menguruskan tetamu...aku, k.bby dan ira menyusul untuk bersolat..seusai solat, kami membuat bulatan untuk membaca surah yasin..pertengahan bacaan kami dimaklumkan tok akan dibawa ke surau rumah di tingkat bawah..aku dan ira meneruskan bacaan..k.bby keluar untuk membantu..kemudian, kami semua turun ke surau..meneruskan bacaan..kelibat ahli keluarga yang lain mula kelihatan..tetangga sudah ramai menziarahi keluarga..bacaan yasin diteruskan..

aku kekok dengan suasana yang tidak ku kenali..tp mengutamakan arwah..itu yang menghilangkan perasaan kekok...entah kenapa, setiap kali terpandang wajahnya, aku sebak..mengingatkan aku pada kematian yang tidak mengenal erti masa..aku rasa tenang melihat wajah tok.. kelihatan sangat bersih..masih kemerahan walaupun sudah 2 jam berlalu..sangat tenang, seperti dalam tidur.. mungkin itulah penyebab hatiku yang semakin keras dek dunia tak dapat menolak peringatan yang Allah ingin tunjukkan..aku terimbas siapa diriku ini dan sanak saudaraku..siapakah selepas ini?..itu seorang perempuan..seorang ibu..seorang nenek..dan ini keluarganya...di manakah aku nanti? dalam keadaan apakah masa aku nanti..? ya Allah, aku takut ya Allah... aku terkenang tanggungjawab aku kepada keluarga aku tidak begitu baik kebelakangan ini..dek ingin memajukan diri, keluarga aku ketepikan sebentar..sekali sekala bertanyakan khabar..seandainya pergi salah seorang, mampukah aku tebus masa-masa yang tak terluang? ya Allah..kenapa dengan aku....

jam hampir menunjukkan 7.15pm..km bertiga membuat keputusan untuk pulang ke rumah untuk membersihkan diri kerana dari pejabat..selepas maghrib akan kembali..tapi dek kelewatan di jalan raya, kami tiba selepas isyak.. sekembalinya kami, kelihatan jemaah isyak baru selesai berdoa..kami ke dalam untuk menyertai tahlil arwah kumpulan wanita..kemudian duduk di tepi meneruskan yassin yang tidak putus-putus untuk arwah tok..jam hampir pukul 10.30pm..kami diminta ke atas rumah mami untuk bersama-sama mengisi perut yang kosong..ayah membeli bihun singapore dan burger untuk jamu..kasihan mama, dia berpuasa..baru dapat menjamah makanan..namun sempat juga mama hidangkan aku white coffee kegemaran tok untuk aku.. aku berkongsi dengan k.bby dan ira..semuanya seperti hanya makan untuk mengalas perut..tiada selera.. sambil makan, bercerita tentang kenangan bersama arwah..betapa semua tidak menyangka pemergian arwah.. arwah dirindui.....

aku bertanya tentang cubaan mendapatkan boy..ira kata ayah sedang cuba..entah dapat entah tidak..k.bby kata mama suruh dibiarkan dahulu.. nanti saja diberitahu..takut mengganggu..aku seperti ingin menghubungi dia sendiri..tapi aku rasa biarlah ayah atau mama atau kakaknya saja yang mengkhabarkan berita ini..itu lebih adil..berita sebegini..tp mungkin aku boleh cuba..sekadar sms..untuk dia menghubungi rumah sekiranya dengan kiriman sms aku dapat menghubunginya..cubaan sms telah dihantar pada jam 1am..status 'delivered'..Ya Allah, dengan izinmu Ya Allah, sekiranya dengan kiriman sms aku itu dapat menghubungkan dia kepada keluarganya, syukur alhamdulillah..semoga dia dapat menunaikan tanggungjawabnya sebagai anak dan cucu yang soleh..

aku harap semuanya berjalan dengan baik mlm nie untuk keluarga k.bby..aku pasti ramai yang masih terkejut, dan ramai akan menemani tok di malam terakhirnya di atas bumi..

aku di rumah...

esok pagi akan menyusul sekali lagi di rumah tok sebelum dia berangkat ke sisi suami dan anaknya..

kemudian ke ortho untuk pemakaian bracing..masih gerun dengan ingatan pemakaian braces..hmmm...

Ya Allah, semoga roh tok wan chik dalam peliharaanMu..semoga kau ampuni dosa-dosanya..semoga ditempatkan bersama orang -orang beriman dan beramal soleh solehah..permudahkanlah urusan barzakh..sesungguhnya tok wan chik adalah antara hamba-hambamu yang beriman,baik hati, penyayang dan beramal solehah..selamatkanlah beliau..amin...

akhirnya berjumpa juga..

hati nur berbunga2~ huhu..

semalam nur dah jumpa mama..tak sangka nur akan jumpa mama lebih awal..ye la, nak tak nak ritu time nak amek akak sbb kitorg nak gi parti bbq kat batu ferringi yang diorang buat, mama ada kat bawah..mama nak gi kelas agama ngan mami..dia sampai kluar keta nak jenguk nur..pastu semalam akak dah gtau mama nak gi kenduri ngan nur..then bila nk antarkan makanan kat kaklong, akak ajak nek atas umah..nur tak nak sgt2 sebab segan..tp dia paksa..katanya ayah takde..jd ngan debar2 mcm nak luruh jantung je rasa..tgn seram sejuk segala..ikut la jugak gi nek umah..so pertemuan pertama ngan mama pun berlaku..nur salam ngan mama..mama nampak sangat lincah..dia tgh nak siap2 nak kluar..masa tu, Tuhan saja yang tau mcm mana nervesnye nur..tp still cover2 lg..then balik dr antar makanan ngan akak kat kaklong, nur antar akak balik..masa tu mama ada kat bwh tengah tunggu ayah..jadi sekali lg jumpa mama..tp masa tu nur just drop akak..jadi nur pun lambai je tangan..mama pun senyum lebar je ngan nur sambil lambai tgn..rasa seronok sangat ati nie sbb akhirnya dh jumpa mama..

dan rini..tadi nur kluar ngan akak nk gi batu feringgi lagi untuk celebrate besday kawan akak n nur.. nur dpt cerita..mami n mama sukaaa sgt nur..huhu..mama siap sokong lagi..kalau dengan yg sorang lg tu.. dia pun tak suka...bila dengar cerita ni, bertambah rasa yakin dalam hati...Tuhan sentiasa tunjukkan jalan untuk nur dapatkan ketenangan..syukur alhamdulillah..semoga semua baik-baik saja nanti..=)

nur harap semuanya berjalan lancar untuk awak di sana..hari ni dah genap 1 bulan 22 hari awak pergi..dah lama kami di sini tak dengar khabar awak..semua orang rindukan awak..awak sihat ke? nur tahu sana sejuk..awak tak tahan sejuk..cepat selsema mcm nur..jaga kesihatan awak..nur harap nanti bila awak balik, kita boleh sembang macam2..banyak sangat cerita nur nak cerita..awak pun mesti banyak sangat cerita nak cerita..tak sabar nak tau cerita2 tu..=)

Kwot of the Kwak to the Krak #6 : Muka Palsu

"jangan bermuka-muka..jadilah satu muka..susah kalau tersilap pasang muka dengan orang yang selalu kita bermuka..orang pun masih bermata untuk melihat muka yang takde jiwa.."

-nur-

a week of stories..

this week was hectic..exhausting..there was soo many job..i had to cover jobs of others and that was filthy tiring..adding to that was more job from my bos and the last minute work..i hate when customer rush us to do things and then scold us for being late..we are doing our best to do for them but sometime a nice tone would be much appreciate because we are not doing one job at time..there are walk-in customer, online orders..so, please be more respectful and considerate..everybody want fast and good work..and so do we..but if at the end we were scold for something that maybe wasn't our fault, that is rude..sometime i wonder why people must say something bad to others? why can't they say in a manner way? as if being nice is bad and being rude and rough is good..i hate that..i mean, i personally will not treat people with such bad attitude..and they aspect by doing that, they will be heard louder than others? i'm telling u, it's a low low low shallow mindset..

well, what i want to share here is..i have been working on this design for this company..they are currently is working on an event project they have..and my contribution..or my role in this project is to be the designer for all the A&P of the event..such cool job! i know this is a bit risky job, but it is an opportunity for me and my company to shine..my company name will be credited, if the event went on this June, and will be mentioned in their website, media...imagine how this can boost my company! i know this is huge..and i must say, it is tiring because i had to work in the morning, and at night i need to think for this event thing and others order..it just eating myself...and i dont want to get so excited about it yet..my friend advice me to be careful and not too excited about it, in case if the event got problems and cannot generate income for me..she is right..and so i save the excitement till the right time..

ok, about my dream: having my bracing on..today i went back to my dentist again..it's been 3 times in 3 weeks (every saturday appointment)..but today no teeth got pulled out..*thank God!*..today i only went for scaling..so i have a clean, nice white teeth...teeeheeee...(i wish i can show u my big smiles..hehe)..and my bracing is going up this 11 March!!! Owh, i'm soo excited about it! i have planned to apply leave on that day.. it's Friday..my colleague told me to just send a text message on that day saying i was sick and cannot make it for the day..she is going to apply the leave so that she can come along and see how they put it on me..she is also wearing braces, but she didnt got the chance to see how they place it..so that day she was planning to see it and tell me how it will look like..hahaha..so scaring! hmm..i wonder if they allow us to take video..so i can see it later...ahaks! 

after seeing my dentist, i went to maxis..i stop by to ask about their blackberry plan..it turn out to be different from what i heard in Kedah..and different from my friend's friend in KL..i was turn down by the attendance, so i said i will come back again..yeah! like i would! huhu..maybe i change to celcom because of frustration.. haha..=p then i stop by at carwash, had my car cleaned..called my friend and told about the maxis drama..and she cool me down by telling me she would ask her friend to see if she can help up us here..hehe..that was good news~ 

then i got a text message from one of my client from my office..she wants to meet up at Queensbay Mall at 3.30pm.so at 3.00pm i drove there..it was really hot outside..even when i get inside the mall, it was not so cooling..i meet Ms Liu at Old Town..she is working with this financial planning firm..it is a one stop solution for finance.. they will advice you on everything relating to your financing..be it on investment, saving, insurance / protection, or your accounts matter..i find this is very necessary..to some, they may see it as another insurance agent, selling policies..but it is not..from my understanding, she is here to educate me about finance..educate me to have control on my wealth..to mange well my money..to do saving..to do investment that will make my money grow..and so on..she is not telling me to take whatever product she have..no..she ask me what is my budget that i can commit monthly to save...what is my dream..where i want to go from here..from there she will help me to invest on safe investment..and at the same time doing saving..not many sees this as a good thing..

i'm telling you, i don't generate much montly..and i dont have saving..it's true! but i start to realize how important this is before i meet her..and when she told me this, i praise Lord..it is like He is helping me..i need someone to advice me on finance and here is Ms Liu..some more she is a chinese..chinese is well known about their wealth management..they take money and future seriously..they know how to generate fortune..and coming from them these advices, really really feeling secured in a way..we talk for 3 hours..i have met insurance agent..i have talk with direct selling people..but this is nothing like them..i don't know if this is another scam..but i know the manager and her..they are nice people..the manager has CFP (Certified Financial Planner) and she is on her way..the manager himself has come to me the other day, and treat me lunch and have give me the idea about the whole thing about financial planner job..the good thing is they are not charging me consultant fees..so i got free consultant, whenever i want to ask or to have their advice on how or what should i do when i have financial problem, i can just make a call to them..so great right?! Ms Liu have been giving me sooo many advices about life and business..i really need this kind of motivation..she told me how to spent well and wise, to always stay positive, mix around and talk business and success..so it was refreshing for me..she also told me that she already spread the words about my talent and business..she is setting up her own business which is a restaurant..she said she want me to do all the designs for her..so i was very please..it was a good meeting..really really worth of spending those hours..=)

then after the meeting, i refresh myself..then walk around the mall to look for something to wear tomorrow.. i was invited to a beach bbq party by my friend's sister..at first, it was not my intention to go at all because i dont know most of the people and there are people who i dont want to meet..but when she told me she is celebrating her sister's birthday..i cannot refuse it because her sister is very close to me..so i need something to wear tomorrow..i need to show the person i dont want to meet who i really am..she never know me in life.. so she think she has everything in the world and can do anything she like..well girl, heads up..i hope when we finally meet, u will change ur mind on one thing..and hopefully, it keeps u away from being such an annoying, desperate looking person..well, actually i dont want to do that..it will make me look ridiculous..but i will go there as myself..and she will see what others see about me..when she knows me, i think she will stop whatever she is doing..*hopefully*..so i got myself this nice blue and white stripe shirt..it was very sweet..the material was very light and not so fitty..i find it very nice for hot sunny beach wear..it's been a long time since i when to the beach..and for nice friendly picnic..so hope it will turn out to be very fun and nice..i also bought a nice accessory with that..a heart shape locket with a long necklace for only rm20 at forever 21..so, i feel happy for today..it's been a while since i last shop clothes and accessory for myself..=)

can't wait for tomorrow!

Kwot of the Kwak to the Krek #5: fashion

"as a kid, i hate fashion. i don't know what is fashion. all i see is 'open' and 'airy' here and there and that's not right. to me my mom sense of dressing us is the coolest outfit we have. she love mix and match. and i love being different. we rare do shopping clothes at mall. she will make for us. then i enter my university. i got to know fashion. and then i realize that is what i've been loving from the day i say i hate fashion."

-masisnur-

it take hurts to know happiness..

yesterday was a full day of sensation..there was mix of emotions...happy, excited, thrill, sad, disappointment, tired,  anxious and worried, and self-redemption moment..one time is soo happy, next thing i know i was crying so bad in bed..hmmm..

well, in the morning, i went to shangrila rasa sayang hotel in batu feringgi with my dad, visiting my former boss who is here in penang for a week of resting..at the same time, meeting with one of my former colleague on our packaging project there..it was for a fitness gym in Alor Setar and we are doing fitness drinking water..they are holding an event this coming 25th but when we talk to our manufacturer, the packaging cannot be ready by that date..so we still be having our initial packaging design idea, coz it will be use as marketing branding tool for them but for that event only, i has suggest something more practical and time wise solution which was agreed by all of them who was there..so instead of one project, i got two..ahaks! i must say i was pretty happy of my negotiation skill~ teeheeeee...from my experience dealing with people, i need to firm my standing as a designer and a business-lady..i need them to pay me.. usually this is what happen when you are in service business..people tend to take your service first and pay later..and that 'later' can be anytime they feel liking to pay..and this is not to happen again..so i told them i'll be sending them my quotation and some forms and contract for them to fill.. in this way, i can be assure with their words..

after 2 hours of meeting, we leave the place and head home..after changing my attire, i went straight downstairs to have my lunch and watch tele..i saw my hero (aamir khan) on the screen! and definitely i stayed to watch..it was called taare zameen par...i only watch halfway but i can understand what the storyline is...and as usual, his movie never never never dissapoint me..i cry, touch, move by emotions, and it was a good feeling, so far... i told myself, i will watch the whole movie, either on youtube or get the dvd..

then, after done with that..i rush back upstairs to my room..and i got text messages on my phone..it was from a friend of mine..the one who ruined my day (if you followed me on my previous post, u will know)..and thanks to her, i was hurt again..then i start to remember the real her..so i said to myself, she is a scumbag..ditch her!.. so because of frustration, i wrote my previous post (i have to let loose my anger somehow)..and then i took my medicine and was sleepy..i went to sleep and her story was over..

but then i woke up to a strange feeling..coz i have this weird dream..and my feeling, i just cannot tell..it was fill with worries and excited at the same time..i dream of the one i want to see for such a long time..the person was holding my hand and was asking me to be strong and patient with whatever that comes in my way...the hand grip was so strong..that i can feel it touching my skin for real..! the eyes was showing affections that i had long dream to see...the minute i realize, tears was coming down my cheek..my heart is beating faster.. i know then, i was missing the person in my dream..it has been 4 times in this 2 weeks..i dunno why..i just got up and pray for this person safety..Ya Allah, protect my dear one..i may be fooled by satan for my feeling but this is rare to see..give your love and bless to my dear friend of mine for this person is in your search journey..

becoz of sudden wake up, i cannot go back to sleep..so i went in front of my lappy and was browsing the net for inspirations..but i cannot stop thinking about my dream..when i keep thinking of the person, my eyes get wet..then i realize, the text message i receive today..i remember the last time i was hurt by her, this person is the one who advised me to stay away from her..and today, without presence, the advice is still heard..in my dreams!! i say my istighfar and then say my syukur..i was smiling again then..it does sound weird and strange and it's like in movie or drama normally..but it's true! i dunno why..somehow i feel like this person always be there for me when i need somebody..then, the memory lane start floating in my head...dang i miss this person!

hmm...so to let my mind and my eyes clear, i need to do something..then i remember taare zameen par!! off to search on youtube for the movie to watch..next thing i know the clock is 2.30am when the movie finish..so, i say my prayer again and nite2...hmm..wat a day..wat a memory lane..syukur alhamdulillah ya Allah..

STUPID HYPOCRITE GIRL!

i hate people who don't know how to show respect when they receive my respect to them. You should NEVER treat anybody even your good buddies as if it's OK to say however you like and having it in your mind it would be OK that your buddy won't take it personally! What if that person misunderstood you coz of your language or your action?? if you are to advice or to correct your buddy coz of his/her misbehavior or his/her wrong-doing, then make it clear and make it professional! say it somewhere where you know you can still be the savor to him/her esteem and it won't jeopardize your friendship, or say it in a way you still show your respect to them!! i mean, common you guys! you cannot slam your friend anywhere you like just because of 1 mistake or misunderstood that you get from him/her. you have to be patient and find out the truth before you can go and blow out your anger or dissatisfaction.

today, i feel very very very disappointed. this friend of mine has made me cried before because of her outspoken words and stabbing me from my back. i was advised to keep away from her. and so i did. she was shock to see my changes but i stay firmed. i cannot be close to her anymore for she don't know how to respect our friendship. of course she may have her own reason for being mad at me, but she did not know the truth of my situation. and she don't have the right to go around telling bad mouth about me, while at the same time pretending in front me, still being nice and hangout with me. i was not that fool to let her do that to me. so i left her in guilt. but because she has a good side that i saw in her, i was willing to forgive her and after a long shot of distance, i let her into my life again. but i still keep the distance. i didn't treat her as someone i can count on. she is one of the hypocrite persons i know.  she is a girl who knows how to take advantage of a situation as long as she gets what she want. sometimes, i try to take it positive. i told myself, maybe that is her nature. maybe that is how she is. but don't she see that her way is wrong???  she can cry so many time and says that people hate her and dislike her. well what do you know!! change yourself woman!! if you still have the thinking in your head that you are right all the time, then you will have no one to love you no more at the end! you are just lucky to know me, because i forgive people..i even advise you to change..i save you many times..i give you my respect..i care for you..but that doesn't mean you can take for-granted of my kindness..

enough is enough..either you change or i change. and i take my road. i change. you will not have my respect, you will not have the kindness i gave before, you will not be someone i want to look for in the future. thank you for your 'returns' for this is the end. i was hurt over and over again by you girl..you are not worth of crying for. may you find yourself a friend who you can make fun of..

p/s: why girls have this kind of weird behavior??!! girls should not be ugly to their own kind!! no wonder boys and most of them have a lasting friendship! girls, keep your manners tight! urrrrgggghhhhhhhhh....!! i hate this stupidity!!

what happen on 7 february 2011..

the title post sure creates curiosity in you..but it was nothing 'happening'..but i like to share my wacky moments in the office..in the office, i was the only person using mac..and my LED screen is like 27'', the biggest screen and becoz of its size, i was totally invisible to the sight..!

this is the look of what i'm using at the office..the keyboard and the mouse is wireless.using batteries..which is suck! you need to standby batteries in case they are 'dead' suddenly~ i hate that! but good thing, i can see clearly and stay hidden from the sight! haha..=p

and lucky me, i was not placed at the front line which was totally have no privacy..meaning you can't go browsing some random website you like such as facebook, blog, youtube or whatever website that is not related to your work..if you are being caught browsing 'unfamiliar' or 'restricted' website, you'll be questioned like you did something horrible..well, not in front of others but yes...it's bad..*well, i never saw it happen before my eyes, but i saw warning sign and heard stories..so yeah...kinda nasty..need to be aware every time..*..and plus, we have this CCTV over our head..there are 4 CCTV just inside our working space..(not counting the others..there's more!)..and that is not so big space...i heard stories from my colleague that my boss wife once called from her home telling her that the lid of our photocopy machine was not place down after she use it!! i was like, whaaaatttt????!!! she's been watching us all the time??!! so we in the office was not fond of her..but i dunno..maybe she's just doing her part, in securing the business..but yes, give the workers some space madam..or you loose them.. and yes, i heard stories..before this, many has resign because of her attitude..hmmm...anyways, she just gave birth to her second child, few days before CNY..so we all are like party-animal in the office coz she will not be around to bossy us for a while..i heard that the first child, she took 6 months before come back to office.. haha..maybe becoz it was their first child and she was not so sure bout mummy-thing..i dunno..hopefully, this time will be longer..=p...

so wassup with the date in the tittle? it's my birth date peps!!! happy birthday to me!!! (^_^)v..haha..yes..i have another number added to my age..in fact, i can't believe it's my age..i look at myself, i still see me in 20! haha.. for heaven sake..be matured nur!! u have sisters and brothers who wants you to be their role model.. if you still see yourself in 20, what will they be then?? heeee...i just wish i could do something bout it..i mean i really did try my best to be a good role model to them, but i follow the flow..and play my part whenever needed..i cannot go around and tell them this and that..then i would become like the lady boss! i wont fake myself for somebody who is not me...as long as i have their love and respect, as long as they are in my sights and doing good as human..i have no worries.. i play my part wisely..but still, i need to change the kiddy teenager look..*do i look like that or it's just me thinking i look like teenager?? haha..some says that i look just right to my age..really? that's good then..*

but i dunno..haha..if u look at those pictures below..i dunno what will you be thinking..maybe you will say, 'nur, you need a major brainwash!;..hahaha..well, thank you to myself for not having good sleep before that day..so i was out of my normal mode....hehe..laugh all the way you guys..*wink* and thanks to my imac for the opportunity of having a great laugh and fun at the office..most of my office mate dont know that my mac can do this..hahaha..so, it was hillarious..although most of them was so shy to go in front of the camera.. you guys need to go out of your comfort zone people! but i know, there are scared the phone might ring from  lady boss or that someone from us will betray and go report the crazy wacky laugh we had to the boss... well, you can't really tell bout people around you nowadays, right? hehehe..

i love this! we look like cartoon dexter and laboratory..! only if ah hong have specs too..hehe..

this look like baby alien feeding on mineral water!

and the braniac me..i must be a genius!

i look retard and confuse!

hahahaha..this is all time lovers! i had this on ym and skype as my profile image..boy, they all can't stop laughing!! i even make my boss scream!! hahahahahaa..

can you see the love...? hahaha...

how slim is my hand! can you tell if i'm laughing or crying?? haha..

owh! i cant take it anymore..stop! stop!

i burned myself! haha..this girl is so shy..but she looks good then..;)

smillleeeeee!!!

grrrrr...i change my look and caught on candid~ haha..nice one!

another candid shot..she runs coz scared caught on camera...pffff...u r not that shy girl! come back!!!! i was laughing coz of that..

and here we are...good nice shot..finally! hahaha..i love this~ ;)

well, i had fun in the office! it was monday and everybody was not in the mood after celebrating CNY..so we had a good laugh together there..hope to have another good laugh with my family..soon~ come back my sisters and brothers!! we should be celebrating my birthday!!! =p

Update! Update! Hot update! =p

Wassup wassup peps! it's been a waaayyyyyyy longgg journey to come back to this blog..hahahahaha..in fact, i almost forgot about it!! i mean, how could i??? i know! it shouldnt happen, right? well, until a  friend came up to me and ask, "hey, how's ur blog going on? what's ur blog url? i miss catching up with u.."geeezzzz! i was touch by that..i mean, people remember me! it proves that people loves my writing..=)

well, even i have said it sooooo many time, like dozens and gazillions time bout being 'rajin' in writing blog, but it does show off that it was like fooling around and not serious...hmmmm...what is too happen to me right... then when i stumble across my fellow friends blog, i got inspired again with their sincerity in writing..they find time to blog even they are much busier than me..woowwww!! i have to congratulate you guys for the effort.. you olz are soooo daammmnnn ggoooodddd!! i mean,  really..well, i really miss myself from the past who use to love updating blogs..so many followers those time..*sigh*..well, life has it ups and downs...huhuhu..

so, a lot of things happened these few months..in fact, a life turning point for me.. it's a good start for the year 2011 actually.. and i wish for more miracles and blessing so i can achieve more great things in life..well, it's not something sooooo great but as to my concern, this is TASTEFUL!

ok, for a start..i quit my last job in kedah..but then, with a help of a good heart sister, i got the job that i am working with now..it wasn't that long after i quit..it's like a month of break then i'm off to work! that's fast bounce i had so far! so, in pursuing to become a knowledgeable and experience designer, i took the challenge and yes, still working with that company today..basically, this company is in my home town, penang..a good thing is that i can get myself familiar with penang (i know i was born in penang, but i never wants to know penang before!) so, by working and building my network here, i get the chance to know penang myself! weeehooooo!! wasn't that sounds fun??! but don't come to me yet and asking me to take you as tourist guide in penang! i will get u lost! hahahaha..*that bad, huh? =p*

meanwhile, i still have my head on my baby's and alhamdulillah, things went pretty well so far.. sometime when i get lots of orders, i just wish i wasn't attach to the company i'm working with, in order for me to be focusing to my own making money business..it was nasty torturing myself, coz in the morning till late evening i'm stuck in my office, doing designs for my boss, which like a day, i can go 6-10 designs , *which can be something i can make on my own instead, and get the pay for what i do!*..and later, going home..still stuck in front of my laptop, doing design, which is extremely exhausting coz usually i was feeling tired and wasn't at my best condition (fresh)..so imagine what my body is taking..and you people who knows me would know that when i get excited about a job, i don't care less about others, even myself, like taking my food, or what happen around me..and my eyes and my brain..poor thing but you are my gifts..thank you Allah for them..i just hope and wish i can go through this phase strong enough..

that is still going on..it's been like almost 3 months now..and about my baby, me and my good sister here who has been supporting me, is still wishing a miracle will happen to us in getting a space or an office for us to work from there..we did receive some offers, but turn out to be unrealistic to us..so we keep searching..hopefully one day, a good heart person who wants to help us, will rent us a space for cheaper price as a start..but i was thinking doing it from my house..i was thinking using our living room as my office or class since my family are not around during the day..hey, that's what most people are doing right?? but i have this concern..u know when you are in your home, you get this nice cuddly feeling and not being serious, and it's not breathing the wacky force you get when you in the office..so i was not so sure about making my home as my office, although that is the most cheapest place i can get..

so it seems like an office was not achievable for the meantime..so i turn to online..and my sister had setup a social network page, which i dare to says, that most of you readers have an account..and your guessing is right! it's FACEBOOOOKKKK!! *wow! that mark, the owner sure is mad..how did he do it sooo wellll??? * so, that is another inspiration for me..i mean, young people who make a fortune..not all can do that..but i determine to achieve something..that's what everybody should have..that kind of motivation..and good thing to know, people out there is supporting!! that sure bring a big smile to me..so, i kind of thinking, i should do something online too..so i setup a blog..which i intended at first to do a website..but then..maybe later..

so people...supports us! go 'LIKE'ing our facebook page (just click it~) and our 'The Island Thinkers Studio Blog'..you will get our updates from time to time..and who knows, if you need design service, we happy enough to serve you with best product from the house!..it's fun, it's going to be unique and we hope to do our best for you..if it's not for you, my dream won't happen..so at the end, it's about you guys too..*wink*

alright, sure a lot of story-telling about the working life...now, as in right now..I'M IN PAIN! well, it is not some kind of disease..this pain is going to be a long term worth of suffering..hahaha..well, i'll be getting my braces on! FINALLLLLYYYYYY...!! *chicken dance* hahaha..but not yet..that is like a month from now..now, i have to bear the pain of removing 4 of my HEALTHY teeth! well, actually 6 which include my wisdom teeth..but that  2 wisdom teeth can wait after the braces is on..so yesterday, i went to the dentist to remove my left side (upper & bottom) teeth..it feels weird in my mouth coz there's a hole in my teeth..my tongue just cannot resist the *temptation* (ahaks!) to touch the gum of the empty hole in my mouth, which apparently still have blood clogging there..yucks! i feel like putting a cap or something to block my tongue from doing that unhealthy habit..grrrr...

hmm..so that's about what happen recently...owh yes, a good old fren of mine, Fathiah from my primary school..she ask me to taught her how i wrap my hijabi or 'selendang' or shawl or pashmina or however you call it..well, i never imagine i can be a trend setter! hahaa..in fact, it was a fast, simple and the unrealistic-side-of me technique to wrap that..i was going woossshh wooosssshhh wwoooooossshhhh around my head..and wallaaaa...it's done! to me, as long it covers my head especially my hair and my neck and doesn't show off my 'bump' in front so much, it's good!  i never wore anything 'neat'..i mean not that i'm messy or dirty..my sense of fashion is always unrealistic! or too much! or too extreme! or too saggy! or too messy! people won't follow me coz of that..but they say it looks good on me..hahaha..so i never thought anybody would come to me and ask 'how did u wear it? can u teach me?'.. wow! that is a privilege to me..so maybe i can try to post about my sense of fashion! hahaha..never in my imagination, i would be adore for my fashion sense..=)

so, we will see bout that..till another post..

(^_^)v

-nur-